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Furthermore, online dating starts every relationship in a toxic way. Everyone is shopping profiles of strangers, so everyone is a product and every interaction a job interview. Instead, for many people it has squandered their time and emotional energy in games and rituals and possibly robbed them of years of happiness with the ones for whom each is a perfect fit. Your matchmaker does the legwork of finding and screening your matches, saving your participation for just the face-to-face part. Whether your encounters come from matchmaking, chance meetings, or online dating, instead of initiating a chat or email exchange with new acquaintances, ask early on “can we talk? Yet many people leave to chance one of their most consequential efforts in life; finding their partner to spend it with.
It seems obvious, but from the first words you exchange with a new acquaintance, you begin to replace the irrelevant first impressions with your glimpses of the real person beneath. If, in some kind of science fiction time-traveler scenario, you were able to find, initiate, and develop a lifelong relationship with your soulmate many times; you’d certainly be better at it the tenth time than you were the first time, but no one gets to do that more than once or twice in a lifetime. Oh, and NEWSFLASH: a big part of finding a worthwhile person is becoming a worthwhile person yourself.
We work with local dating partners to connect you with quality singles in the Oklahoma City area.
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This has been our work since before there was such a thing as online dating. Fulfilling relationships have foundations in compatibility. Pretty faces and profile factoids are not only unreliable windows to a person’s character, but they can actually obscure it. Swiping and chatting divert you from the discovery of worthwhile people. Chances are you can’t even tell, because you can no longer see them through objective eyes.
You live in a world of first impressions, which can’t be trusted from the start, and in any event, fade quickly in a relationship, as you replace them with the person you come to know. What you see has been replaced by what (or who) you know. Online dating should have broadened your pool of potential partners and enabled you to zero in on the one for you. Very few of us question the wisdom of seeing a doctor, a lawyer, or an accountant when the need arises.