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One of the most amazing social changes is the rise of online dating and the decline of other ways of meeting a romantic partner. So it’s no surprise our screens are becoming the first place we turn to when looking for romance — because you need someone to take care of you when you get food poisoning on your vacation, right?But as some of the Book Riot women started sharing stories, we noticed that there are plenty of men out there who just don’t seem to understand how to date a woman who reads.In other words, many of us had stories about dudes on dates being weirdly condescending about books and reading, aka “literary mansplaining.”DON’T: Tell them why you’d never read that book/genre DO: Pick someone up in a bookstore by offering to buy whatever book they’re holding (like buying someone a drink in a bar)DON’T: Buy random hardcovers as gifts to give on the second date, apropos of nothing (this too often involves condescending assumptions about what a near stranger has or hasn’t read)ALSO, DON’T: Buy them a self-help book about dating/relationships (yep, this happened)DO: Ask them for recommendations DON’T: Assume someone who tells you they’re an avid reader hasn’t heard of Franzen DO: Engage in discussions about books you each liked or disliked and why DON’T: Tell them why Hemingway really is the greatest and that maybe they just don’t “like academic writing” or “writing you really have to think about”ALSO, DON’T: Talk about why you “just can’t get into” reading books written by women (or people of color, LGBTQ folks, etc)DO: Plan fun, literary dates like bookstore tours, going to the library, or doing some literary tourism DON’T: Take your date to the bookstore, then just follow them around and hover awkwardly while they browse DO: Make thoughtful recommendations based on books they’ve told you they liked DON’T: Hand them a stack of books written by white dudes that you “really think they need to read” (we’ve heard of them, we promise)And, finally…DO: Be a decent human DON’T: Be a jerk That’s it!Every so often, an article pops up about how readers get more messages on online dating apps or how readers are better lovers, etc.Obviously, dating a reader is a great idea for a lot of reasons.Many singles compare it to a second job, more duty than flirtation; the word “exhausting” came up constantly. Is there a way to do it more effectively, with less stress?The evidence from our two years of study, which included interviews around the world, from Tokyo to Wichita, Kan., says yes.
Plus, getting anyone talking about their passions is a great way to keep conversation flowing on a first date.
Today, there are millions of people on thousands of dating sites looking for their perfect match, whether that’s for a hookup, date, relationship, or marriage.
With this growing industry comes a lot of information that’s worth knowing.
TOO MUCH FILTERING The Internet offers a seemingly endless supply of people who are single and looking to date, as well as tools to filter and find exactly what you’re looking for.
You can specify height, education, location and basically anything else.