10 rules fror dating my daughter federal law on post dating checks

Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose his compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object.

However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. and has ran, but not won, for the seat of governor.

If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. And the worst part, he's one of those hardcore east coast Italian types.

Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. I said who she was and asked him if he knew them, and he said and I quote, "They aren't Italian, I don't have to know them." Eventually he became comfortable with me over time, and I was allowed at their house any time I wanted.

Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. Hell, I even spent the night there once, albeit in another bedroom than his daughter.

Rule Five: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early." Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. Yeah, but the fixtures are too fragile to hang on and the cuffs leave too many marks on girls wrists..gotta try the furry wrist bindings. Of course my sister'll probably leave you tied up in a ditch once you've done her floors and windows.

This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. The nice guy role works very well for me It works well for me too - except this one case where a girl down the street from me (in my old house) had her parents in LOVE with me - I was seriously afraid of her dad and refused to go over to her house - I'm glad I moved.

If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. It's all about appearance, intelligence, and good manners with fathers.Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. Talk with them about their business and show interest in what they have to say.Rule Three : I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys your age to wear their trousers so loose that they appear to be falling off.Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots.

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I thought I'd share it with you guys, as I'm sure many of you are fathers who might appreciate this.

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